Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A song

Do......


Your......


Boobs hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Do your boobs

Hang

Low?

Sigh.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Yesterday

A day in the life...

3am: feed baby, soothe one triplet, back to bed
5:30 am bring baby to bed and feed, try to sleep again
6:40 baby is up for the day (why?)
8:00 baby snoozes for 30 min, mommy gets dressed, pumps boobs
9:10 feed baby, change baby, dress for day, see off triplets with nanny for morning activities
10:00 baby down for nap, start load of laundry, tidy kitchen, eat breakfast
11:00 feed baby head out for grocery shopping
12:00 return home with groceries, baby sleeping in car seat
12:30 triplets return from museum, break into baby room and awaken him
12:45 triplets down for nap, begin process of settling them down
1:00 triplets gone haywire, jumping, throwing, screaming
1:15 standing in doorway of triplet room monitoring chaos, attempting to keep them laying down
1:25 feed baby
1:45 baby goes down for nap
2:00 angrily throw B into separate room for naptime
2:05 attempt at mommy nap thwarted by loud noises emanating from upstairs apartment.
3:00 all children awakened by painter upstairs in recently vacated apartment dropping what sounds like a refrigerator on the floor.
3:00:01 mommy storms upstairs, pounds on the door and confronts said painter, who naturally doesn't understand english and attempts to apologize while saying he can't do any different as he "has to move the stuff." Mommy storms back downstairs.
3:01-3:20 attempt to calm A down from hysterical awakening, baby thankfully goes back to sleep easily
3:05 mommy grudgingly allows B to leave nap room despite the fact that he slept NOT. AT. ALL.
3:20 mom arrives from SF, asks "where's R? What time did he go to sleep?" as if none of the other three children who said hello to her were important.
3:20 - 4:30 playing interspersed with breaking up fights, keeping children out of baby's room, wrestling with unwilling diaper changees, snack distribution and clean up after stepped on and thrown goldfish litter the room
4:30 start oven to cook dinner
5:00 see off mom, apologize that R did not in fact wake up in time for her to see him
5:05 R wakes up and eats, grandma (MIL) feeds triplets dinner
5:40 baths for triplets, entertainment time for R
6:15 early bedtime for triplets due to lack of nap
6:30 feed R
6:45 R to bed
6:46 placate hysterical B because he can't get sheet off mattress during regular post bedtime destruction hour
6:50 re-pacify R and resettle
6:52 placate hysterical A because B has bear she threw out of crib
6:54 placate hysterical A because B has blanket she threw out of crib
7:00 re-rock R to sleep
7:05 re-tuck in all three triplets
7:15 re-rock R to sleep
7:34 quiet triplets down again
7:45 re-rock R to sleep
8:00 settle down in front of tv to pump and eat scraps from the refrigerator
8:30 realize I might actually be done for the day and relax in front of tv
11:02 re-pacify and roll R over
11:15 mommy passes out

Sunday, May 2, 2010