Over this complete hell of a Christmas week I have learned many things I think you could benefit from hearing. I had 4 sick children, too much to do, no nannies, The Flu and two pinkeyes myself, and too much family exposure. Lets see what we can take from this.
1. Get your freaking flu shot. It is WORTH IT. The flu is days and days of total destruction upon your personhood. And if it happens when you have no nanny and your other helper is sick? You're screwed.
2. Nobody really cares if mommy has the flu. Just get your arse out of bed and do your job.
3. The more you need a nap due to being on your deathbed with the flu the less likely your 4 children are to take naps.
4. Movies only distract toddlers, not 10 month olds.
5. The croup comes in many flavors. One is sneaky and practically silent.
6. When you put your baby to bed sounding like he's breathing under water? It's hard to sleep.
7. When you put the cold air humidifier on full blast all night, the whole room is soaking wet in the morning but the croupy baby sleeps like a.....baby?
8. Opening presents is only fun when you can see them.
9. Your daily evaluation of how you look in the mirror with receive a total upgrade after seeing yourself with tragic levels of pinkeye for a week. Just be lucky you can actually see yourself.
10. Vicodin and pinkeye are not friends. One dries out the eyes and the other....dries out your eyes.
11. If you screw with your pinkeyes too much you will end up with 2 black eyes. Think you have explaining to do in public with 2 pinkeyes?
12. Your kids don't care if you can't see when it's book reading time. Read.
13. Driving your kid to the Dr. with two pinkeyes is a bad idea. I'm pretty sure it's worse than texting, breastfeeding and watching a dvd while driving.
14. When the baby has finished barfing and you're talking to him soothingly and he looks at you and opens his mouth? CLOSE YOURS.
15. The baby has never finished barfing.