Thursday, June 4, 2009

Let's talk about crazy

I have to admit that I never would have thought that someone would want to fake being a triplet mom just to get other triplet moms to like her. I mean there are so many people out there, why pick some ladies who are already so overwhelmed by their own lives that they barely have time to read your long, punctuationless posts, much less respond to the fact that you seem to have simultaneously suffered from every possible pregnancy problem from a ruptured uterus to nurses apparently allowing your live baby to die in your arms because they supposedly didn't even want to try to keep her alive. Um, laying it on a bit thick there. Oh, and I didn't even mention your bodily structural problems you have suffered with since birth. Let's take a random sampling of your writing shall we?

"i have been on growth hormone shots since i was 10 from my ribs to my iliac crest the front hip bones is 3 inches my doctor told my that two babies at 22 weeks for me is like me being 42 weeks plus so carrying one baby would still be like me being a 12 year old girl pregnant them we you and i would get into a hole nother factor"

So if you're anything like me, dear readers, your eyes are bleeding and your head is spinning from the sheer insanity of this......uh, sentence? But then you keep going. I mean it's not enough for you to have a strange body that is ill suited to carrying triplets, right? That might not get you enough sympathy? Is that what you're after? Why not have cancer or something? That could last years and pregnancy is only 8 or 9 months! Let's check another sample:

"i started having braxtion hicks contrations at 22 wks and didnt know i was till the end when i explained to dr..also i went to er with discharge streaked pink and they sent me home i wasnt dialated then nor did they check my cervical length to see if i was funneling or my efacement nor my station so againg i say i wish i could go back and change things and domanted a cerclage"

"Domanted?" Really? But getting back to my point, here's where you made a mistake. See, you got your information screwed up I think as Braxton Hicks contractions are harmless. They do not require panic or any other response other than to lay down and drink some water. This, if the nature of your writing did not give us other clues, is where we put a period at the end of the sentence (unlike you). You are a fraud, a pretender, a freak show on parade. We have a winner! You may, in fact, be the strangest fake post we've ever had.

It's funny, in a deranged sort of way, but the pretenders always lay it on a little too thick. We would believe you if you had a 'normal' pregnancy for much longer than if you have 80 or 90 types of miscarriage symptoms along with an abusive husband, a home for miscreant teens, a house that just burned down and 8 previous failed pregnancies. I mean really. Is carrying triplets not enough? Pregnancy sucked. Pregnancy was miserable from beginning to end. We understand that type of misery so well that we would pour sympathy all over you just to help ourselves not feel alone. Please, my friend the faker, just try again next time with punctuation, spell check and a check on your creative, miserable imagination. Ok?

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