Monday, June 29, 2009

Calling Emily Post

Why is everyone's natural comment after hearing I had three babies, and especially after hearing I had one girl and two boys, "so you're all done now huh?" Is there some preset limit to how many babies a random person wants or should want? Or is the limit somewhat determined by how many you have at once? I never thought to ask a person after their third singleton child, "so I guess that's it for now eh?" Isn't it implying that the person questioning you kind of thinks you've had enough children for now, knock it off?

I am just curious if twin parents get this question if they have a boy and a girl. I assume that triplet parents of all girls or all boys tend to get asked if they're going to try for the other gender just one more time but perhaps not? Where does this preset limit of 3 kids per family come from? If I had four singleton children would that be too many? If I had only one kid is that too few?

And honestly, how many blog posts to I get to create using the stupid 'none of your business' questions people ask me because I've had triplets? Isn't it sad how much fodder I've been provided? Miss Manners would be horrified by half of the stuff that gets asked or said to moms of multiples. It's like we're all on Jon & Kate just without the TVs. Did we all sign the contract that allowed strangers to view our every move and question our every choice in life because we ended up with more than one baby exiting our wombs at one time? Somehow I missed that contract but I suspect it happened while I was recovering from delivery and high on vicodin. I can't think of another 'affliction' one might have in life that allows people to ask you so many invasive questions. People avoid disabled people, they don't query them on how they got that way and what they plan to do next. They pray for sick people, they don't ask them stupid questions. Or maybe they do.

Is it possible that Americans have just lost their manners? I wonder if I had triplets in Europe if the same stupid stuff would have been asked of me. I can probably extrapolate that in Asia I would have just been praised and congratulated based on the first generation immigrants in my neighborhood. But elsewhere, I wonder. Anyone have any ideas? Are Americans just losing track of how polite people behave? I suppose it's probably true since TMZ and US magazine make so much money off of celebrities' failures. Oh well. Here's hoping I raise mine better.


  1. We get asked if we're having more ALL THE TIME. And yes, I do believe Americans have lost track of how to be polite. At the very least, some have lost the "filter" in their head that should monitor what they say :)

  2. I always get asked if I'm going to try for a girl. Um, no, 3 of anything is enough, isn't it? Thanks for stopping by today, you should totally watch the bachelorette! It is soooo hilarious, even though it's not a comedy. There is always time for TV, my overworked friend. It's about priorities, shower/TV, or laundry/TV, or dishes/TV... see priorities:)!

  3. I'm not a mother of multiples, but I do think that people are just generally rude. I'm also from Northern Californa, and I've noticed that so many rude people were born and raised here out West. I've found that the most polite, considerate people come from the midwest.

    Go SITStas!

  4. Ok, so Im a good ol' southern girl at heart, so I AM biased....But, I have been back in NC a month now and not ONE rude comment! Its amazing! But I'm also living in a tiny little "Mayberry" type town where everyone is friendly!

    But the "So, you're done?" comment really bothers me too! Next time someone asks that, and pretends they want to know all my business, Im going to tell them my life story AND all my plans for the future...They will be sorry they asked...