Nobody knows....

A lady turned to me in the deli today, while my infant was fussing in his stroller, and said "Oh how I miss those days!" Much to what I imagine was her dismay I said in response "you can have them." Then I realized how I sounded and amended it with "today," so she could understand it was a particularly bad day, not that I never wanted the kid at any time. But how could she forget so easily that 'these days' are regularly horrific? I mean, I admittedly have forgotten exactly why I was miserable when the triplets were infants, probably something having to do with lack of sleep and constant eating, pooping and crying, but I didn't forget that I was miserable. I know I used to overcome the sheer magnitude of the job of packing them all into their car seats, popping them into the triple decker stroller and going for a walk when they wouldn't sleep just so I could have some quiet time in my head, but I also remember thinking how unfair it was that they then got to sleep and I had to walk. I mean how does that really help my sleep deprived state?

So, to take a trip down memory lane, I went back to some posts I made to my triplet friends way back when to see if I was just as miserable as I feel today after a practically sleepless night unaided by a sleepless morning and a nap interrupted by the stupid Fedex guy (timing anyone?) Let's see what I find, oh wait, this sounds familiar:

I'm having a bad day. My babies got their vaccines on tuesday and it's been hell ever since. I have crabby babies who want to eat at random times and cry at the drop of a hat. I mean raelly, the slightest noise. And if one cries the rest follow. I just had a good cry.

Wow, let's try another one, shall we?

Well I've already cried and it's only 7am. The night nanny said it was the worst night ever with them since she started, we've been giving them Mylicon every other feeding and they had horrible gas all night apparently. Don't know what to do next, switch foods or jump off a cliff? So then it's my turn and while they're all peacefully sleeping when she walks out the door, that doesn't last but 30 seconds. DD needs to eat, fine I can handle that, then DS number one starts fussing, then DS number 2 and it all goes to heck because I can't take the time to make anyone completely happy. So they're all crying and fussing and writhing and alternately eating and burping and sitting quietly and at some point I lost my mind and just cried...sigh.

I need a new job.

Ok, well it's clear that I was just as miserable back then. And now I don't get the same sympathy as I had when there were three. I mean, anyone can handle one infant, can't they? I'd just like to see them do it for 5 weeks 24/7 without crying hysterically at some point. I mean no person is any fun 24/7 for 5 weeks straight, especially when you have to do everything for them. I guess I won't be a nurse for the comatose anytime soon. 

You know what's really funny? When I miss the attention I used to get for walking a triplet stroller down the street because everyone passing me has their own stupid baby and mine is nothing unique. At least I used to get sympathy from random strangers. Now they all coo at the baby when I'm at the deli but no one knows I have 3 more at home. No one knows I am not glowing with first baby happiness...

Nobody knows...the trouble I've seen. (imagine deep gospel baritone singing old slave spiritual. I sang this song in high school and I know it shocks you all that I'd remember such a sad and self pitying song but I did.)

Ok, bloggy pity party is coming to an end. I'm going back to read more of my old posts from when the triplets were making me cry helplessly on a daily basis. It's truly interesting. I don't suppose I've grown one stinking iota since then. Sigh.

catastrophic diaper failure

Dear Huggies,

I have been a fan of your overnight diapers for probably about a year now. My three gigantic triplets have worn them every night with much success, even though I had to use a size larger than recommended on your package to comply with their needs. Even my son, B, who holds all of his urine during the day just so he can fill up one of your diapers until they weigh at least 8 lbs in the morning, has been a success story. I mean we could probably squeeze his diaper out in the morning and find 5 gallons of pee. Seriously. I don't know why he pees so much at night, perhaps he dreams of waterfalls a lot.

However, recently we have been having problems. I consider the fact that I have had to wake up 8 of the last 10 mornings during the 4-5 am hour because one or more of my children is soaking wet a problem. I do not mean a little spot of leakage. I mean these children are usually wet from just under their ribcage to their knees or lower. I consider this an CATASTROPHIC. DIAPER. FAILURE. The fact that it is happening to a boy and a girl means that this is not a gender specific design problem. The fact that we are using a diaper a size larger than you would recommend means that we should have covered our bases. But, the mere fact that I am writing this missive at 4 am tells me and you that there is a problem. This morning I had the joy of changing two children in the dark. Whether the diaper replacement ended up properly applied or the region in question got properly cleaned has yet to be determined in daylight hours.

This, my friends, is unacceptable. I am a tired mom. I have had sick or disobedient children for about 8 weeks now, which, due to the level of complaining I've been doing, you may have already heard about through the grapevine. What is more unacceptable is that there is no overnight diaper one size larger than we use. That's right. Perhaps it never occurred to you that anyone should need an overnight diaper larger than a 6, which according to your package (which I might add, I might have to sue you for as it is false advertising at it's worst) is for children 35+ lbs. Now admittedly, my children are only hovering around the 30 lb mark but what am I supposed to do? Put rubber pants on over your diapers? Double diaper them with your already bulky overnight diapers? Wrap their entire lower halves in cellophane?

Because I am telling you right now that 4 am is a time I do not like to see. I do not like even more to have to change diapers and pajamas at this hour on one of more children. You must find me a solution. Immediately. While my in the dark diapering skills are improving, this is not a useful skill outside of raising toddler triplets. Seeing as how we, with our gigantic triplets, use approximately 1894 diapers a month, we are quite a valuable customer to you. So let's hear some brainstorming, or perhaps you could just make a freaking size 7 for me. Please?

Your crabby mamma,

Mira