Oh crap. Literally.

Dear Huggies,

I hope my recent missive regarding the severe diaper failures I was experiencing with your overnight diapers did not reach you at an overly sensitive time. It seems that since that letter all size 6 overnight diapers (of which we use 1283 a week) have disappeared from store and online store shelves all over America. Perhaps you were not able to pinpoint my location and so had to punish the masses for my sins?

In any case, I should have thought that a company of your size and stature would be able to take a little criticism by now and roll with it. I didn't even ask for any free diapers or an apology, I just wanted to vent. And I suppose I did ask you to create a size 7 line for me, but that was just a suggestion. If it meant you had to shut down production of size 6 for a time, that would not be a good trade, so please let me withdraw my request.

In the meantime, can you please, please, return size 6 overnights to the shelves somewhere in the vicinity of San Francisco? Because, while I don't like visiting every drugstore and department store in the greater Bay Area, I will in order to have my children diapered properly at night. Naturally, a 'regular' diaper will cause me multiple wake ups per night, and that is unacceptable.

Whatever your terms, public apology, televised, youtubed, whatever, I'm pretty willing to comply with. And I can certainly promise never to complain about your product again (until my children are out of diapers which is a long bleeding time) if it makes you feel better.

I just freaking need some overnight diapers! Come on! Help me here! Please?

The view from here

Why do people assume that just because I have triplets I am the authority on Jon & Kate or the octomom? It seems that ever since I got pregnant I've been being asked about J&K, as if perhaps that's where I got the idea to become a triplet mom? Or is it that the minute I found out I was pregnant with triplets I must have tuned into that channel to learn everything I can from the most famous multiples mom around?

I'm not saying I don't have opinions. I do. Anyone who knows me knows I have opinions. However, having triplets does not make mine carry any more weight than yours. It does not make me an expert on crazy people with multiples. Because, and listen carefully here, I AM NOT CRAZY. Therefore, I am not an expert on crazy plus multiples. Oh yes, I believe I just spilled my opinion that I think both of the above (or I guess all three?) individuals are nuts.

But the truth is that perhaps I do have some insight into these situations. Why sell your soul to the devil to make money to take care of your multiples? Because the alternative is impossible: to work full time and care for them adequately. So, perhaps a deal with the devil makes economic sense even if, in the end, the devil seems to be winning and all you may actually end up with is money and material goods.

Situation number two, what to do with all of your frozen embryos? Well, while I am plenty pro choice and do not believe that life begins at conception, but I can tell you that I became pretty darn attached to those little pre-reptiles in my uterus once they were implanted. I can claim that I never would have had more than 3 at once, but that's pretty easy to say having never had to make that decision. Had I been told they needed to put in 6 embryos to ensure one stuck, I would have taken that choice. I know that does not appear to be the situation of octomom, but what to do with one's leftover embryos? Don't sit on your high horse and claim you know what you would do unless you, yourself, have struggled through infertility and created those proto-babies on ice. I didn't make enough to freeze so I abstain from judgement of wanting to have each one get a chance at life, I just might have spread them out a wee bit more. Honestly, if you want the woman to suffer for her choice to have them all at once, do not worry. Raising multiples is not cake no matter how much help you have.

So, you have my opinions. They are not worth more than anyone else's. Now stop asking multiples' parents what they think about these two issues! Because it annoys us to be lumped in with some people that the world judges poorly. Does it mean you judge us too? Probably. Yes, I know that a lot of people do judge me based on their assumptions about fertility treatments, but I can still wish it would stop. I had no choice but to try everything they offered because my chances were pretty stinky. I beat the odds, but someone has to be the 1 in 100,000 who has 3 of 4 embryos implant. Someone has to be the 1 in a million who has 8 babies from 6 embryos, and you can't make that happen. It just does. And then you live with the consequences.

If I had it to do over again, I'd take my consequences any day. They're awful cute...