A blog I read regularly wrote today about something completely different (doppelgangers, a typical thoughtful blog of his) but in the midst mentioned a friend who had become a mommy and then become boring and so he had drifted away from their friendship. He has mentioned parents becoming boring before and way back when I started my blog and found his, he used to read my blog, perhaps for about 5 minutes until he decided that I, too, was a boring mommy blogger. I think he enjoyed several of my non parental blog entries but then became disappointed as the majority of my posts were parental in nature. His rejection felt personal back then and still does now, almost 2 years later. I was certain I wasn't a boring mommy blogger.
But his criticism, which appears regularly in his blog posts, of boring mommy blogs really keeps me on edge. Knowing that for some reason my second pregnancy took the humor out of me far more than my first, I have worried over this blog a lot. I haven't been regularly funny, like in the old days, for a long time. I only have one commenter anymore (thanks The Mother) although I know many people still read. But do they not comment because they are disappointed in me too? I am disappointed in any case, I am a funny person. I started this blog to be funny about my crazy life with triplets and a crazy mom. My life is full of hilarious stupidity.
But, today as I read this other blog I wanted to tell this dude something: people evolve. His blog recently has been more morose and serious. He has also lost some of his sense of humor, and I think the reason was revealed in a recent post about some sort of health crisis he is enduring. Or rather he's evolving as well, into a serious, contemplative writer rather than a silly, funny writer. Sure he and I both have our moments of brilliant hilarity, but they are fewer and farther between than they used to be. Does that make either blog boring? Well, I'm certain that he has lost fewer readers than I but no has had the guts to complain to me directly so I can only guess. It all depends on what you read blogs for. Triplet mom friends of mine still derive something from my honesty. Friends or readers who have crazy moms might. Or people with 9 month old babies. Who knows.
I guess I fret, as usual, about whether I am pleasing the masses. I know there are better blogs and when I have time to really write every day and concentrate on it I am sure mine will show it. For right now, this is what I do. I write when I get inspired. I write the best I can and I try to find the humor in it when I can. Thanks for reading.
An old mom with triplets plus one and an elderly mom to take care of. It's a party all the time.
Fret not! I still find you quite humorous - but, then again, I too am a mommy of triplets, so perhaps it comes with the territory. Battle on!
ReplyDeleteIt's impossible for us parents to maintain long term friendships with non-parental units. We will inevitably slip in a whine or rant or brag that puts their teeth on edge. And they will slip away.
ReplyDeleteThat said, merely having children is not enough to maintain a friendship either. It requires some intellectual peerage, common interests and an ability to put them out there for discussion.
I don't concern myself much about who reads my blog. It's for me, really. If other people find it interesting, I'm thrilled. If not? Meh.
Still reading, Mira, just not finding the time, energy, or wit to comment. And don't worry about pleasing the masses...is that really what you're all about anyway? I doubt it.
ReplyDeleteFor get the masses. Write for you - be funny or be serious. And I'll come back to read both, perhaps because I have crazy mom and twins and reading about having triplets helps put things in perspective. So thanks!
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit disappointed to see this. I went out of my way to say in the post you link to that I don't think it's inevitable that people who have children become boring. I don't attack "mommy bloggers", it's not to my personal taste but I don't think I've said anything to that effect in blog for a while. It doesn't stop you from being a good writer but, as someone without kids who doesn't plan to have them it does rather take away that feeling of universality or being able to relate. Just to be clear, that's my shortcoming not yours - or rather it's just the way it is. And you didn't have the guts to complain to me either, you just wrote a blog post about it!
ReplyDeleteI agree, my blog is a lot less humorous than it used to be, whether this is about changes in me or my writing evolving I don't know.
You should write what you want, about what you want, how you want - and you should never feel you have to apologise about that to anyone. Anyway, now that I've seen this I will definitely follow you, and I'm very sorry that you took this personally.
I really liked reading this, but I found it only thanks to the reference link posted by MLS, so go figure. I am a fellow mom, a fellow blogger, I'd follow you from now on, make comment, just because I love to, and I enjoy your writing. Hope you don't lose heart in all this, and keep on with all that's important to you.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I'd say is whatever of MLS's writing, his health issue was probably not a fair shot. Have I said too much now?
Shopgirl, the health issue wasn't a shot and I don't see how it could be interpreted that way. I was mentioning why his writing might have changed. He wrote a serious bit about a health crisis in his life. Or so it could be interpreted. I meant no disrespect.
ReplyDeleteMr. London Street, thanks for visiting. Sorry to have misunderstood your intent. I love the change in your blog personally. But I will follow wherever you lead as you are a great writer.
I never took that passing remark about my health personally, don't worry. And thanks for saying such terrific things about my writing.
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