Murphy's laws of too many children

1. Just when you get the baby to sleep a triplet will wake up. Especially if it's 3 am.

2. Once you get the triplet back to sleep the baby will reawaken or you just won't be able to sleep.

3. If one triplet awakens and screams for 10 minutes, no one will awaken......until you have gone back to bed and are juuuuuust falling asleep. Then triplet #2 will awaken.

4. When an illness descends upon the family each kid will get it 2-3 days apart so that you have a minimum of 6 days of high level whininess. Meanwhile you will also get the stupid cold but no one wants to hear you whine.

5. At least one child out of 4 is having a bad day EVERY DAY.

6. What one kid has, every kid must have. RIGHT NOW.

7. Even though everyone has one it's still not the one they want.

8. There's never enough.

9. If mommy's doing it, I want grandma to do it. If grandma's doing it, I want mommy to do it.

10. I don't care if I liked it yesterday, I don't like it today.

11. There are always more problems than you have hands to handle them.

12. At least one kid probably hates you every minute of the day.

13. Everyone on the outside thinks you're mother of the year.

Scary Mommy

I seem to have perfected the scary mommy routine. That does not mean it's always effective. But when it is? It's gooooood.

When B decided to climb over his pack n play crib edge and wander to the top of the stairs in our vacation home the other night, I first got scared. Then I got mad. The second time he jumped out of bed while I was waiting in the hall, I got mean. I stuck my face so close to his and I told him never, ever to do that again. Apparently it worked. I also removed the mattress from his crib as well as any stuffed animals which could be used as stair steps to get out of bed. But the next night when I put it all back in? He stayed put.

Yesterday, when all three of my children were fighting over every single thing, including every toy they had not seen in 10 days upon returning to my house and had, within 20 minutes, driven mommy completely over the edge? I revved up the mean mommy and hollered. Wouldn't you know it? They stopped what they were doing. Stared at mean angry mommy. Made me feel like crap. Then went right back to what they were doing. But at least I know I can get their attention.

Sometimes.

Other times its like I'm talking to the wall. I could scream at the top of my lungs and not a reaction could be seen. Not a twitch of an ear. Not a turn of the head. Which does not make mommy quieter.

So, perhaps we're at 50/50 success rate with the mean mommy act. I just have to force myself not to use it too often as we are moving into prime defy mommy age. Otherwise it will lose its power. Such that it is....