Thursday, November 5, 2009

A theory of relativity

It's all relative isn't it? Parenting I mean. From day to day, how you react to x, y or z is all relative.

Last night, while A was crying in her 'night before I get really sick' way I had no sympathy. I got up once, made sure she wasn't currently sick, wet or missing a stuffed animal or blanket and never again. Two weeks ago?  I got up 4 or 5 times. I felt sorry for her. I knew she probably had a sore throat. She never lets me give her meds in the middle of the night though, so what can I do for a sore throat? Is it better to lay in bed listening to her cry, knowing she would stop if I went in every time, but then would be back on in an hour or so?

Well last night it was. Which mom is right? The sympathetic one? Or the sleepy one?

Today, perhaps I have no patience, because I am tired. Disputes get settled with both kids getting yelled at. Yesterday, perhaps, I was better able to distinguish between aggressor and victim. Did it make a difference? Not really. They fought again 5 minutes later. Did the victim feel vindicated or understood? I  doubt it at 21 months.

But perhaps this is the balance. Some days I'm more or too sympathetic. Some days I'm a beeyotch. If it's 50/50, maybe this is balance? Because no human can be balanced every day. And too much sympathy is bad too, perhaps not as bad as too little?

It's all relative. And lately I have been relatively unhappy, so they have probably suffered in my parenting that way. Now I guess I have to manufacture a couple of weeks of happy parenting and it should all even out. Any hints on how to do that other than offing some annoying people in my life?

1 comment:

  1. (((Mira))) I'm for offing the annoying people in your life.......

    but in reality, I have no answers; its hard being a mother; I can't imagine how hard it is being a mother of triplets while pregnant and dealing with sickness plus day to day life.

    I do wish we lived closer, but if you ever come down here (and are not pregnant and enjoy drinking wine, we'll do the wineries :)

    even if you don't enjoy drinking wine, if you are ever down here, we must get together; ditto if we head north :)

    hang in there......they do grow.......
    and you have a few good years where they grow and sleep through the night and aren't sick all the time, and then they get to be teenagers.....