Saturday, March 27, 2010

The why me complex

Does anyone else have the feeling that the universe is constantly trying to kick them in the teeth? Or is that just me?

My friend Ellen assures me that God has many more important things to do than spend a day trying to make me miserable, and yet when I'm having one of those days where everything is going wrong, where does my mind go? To the pity party that is 'God hates me.' (Sorry all my religious friends, I'm sure this column is not for you)

Logically I know it's not true. The universe and God do not spend their days watching over my particular puny life and tripping me. But when you have a day where the baby woke at 6 and never went to sleep again, the triplets are tantruming, the car battery is dead, the bills are overdue and the oven wont turn on, why, oh why do I have to trip as I'm coming downstairs? It's just another kick in the teeth and it's the one that makes me bawl like a baby. Truly I deserve a break. I am overwhelmed, overtired and over it.

What about the theory that you reap what you sow and so, in theory, if my life is full of crap I must be putting crap out there? Well my blog posts would probably make it seem like all I do is complain so perhaps it is my fault that everything is going wrong still. Am I supposed to put a smile on and help an old lady across the street in order to not be tripped up constantly by life's pitfalls?

I mean honestly? If there was something I could do to get this baby to sleep during the day and not to scream bloody murder when I'm putting him on the boob to eat? I'd do it 100 times over even if it meant stripping and running down the street yelling "George Bush rocks!" Please God, tell me what I can do to get out of this hole. I am a nice person. I don't need another bruise, another night of no sleep, another crying jag, another plate of brownies to survive. I just need a way out.

So, is it me? Or is it possible that one's life can just be utter crap for a week straight and it's not about the universe trying to screw me? How do you make it through the tough times? I'd love mantras, affirmations and sheer positivity if you think it'll help!


  1. Mira--really wish things were going better for you. And I almost hate to ask, but have you tried a bottle? It seems like it shouldn't still hurt you when little guy is BFing. Maybe he's not latching right, thus not getting enough to eat, and then not sleeping b/c he's still hungry? Just throwing stuff out there. Sending sleepy vibes your way.

  2. Not being personally invested in a personal God, I doubt that has anything to do with it.

    But having a newborn and a set of triplets does. You have procreated yourself into your own statistical Murphy's Law.

    It'll get better.

  3. What ever happened to the Sunday slacker photos? That was one of my favorite parts of this blog, and it seems to have gone by the wayside.

  4. More photos and funny posts, please!

  5. Also? I will be quoting The Mother's comment "You have procreated yourself into your own statistical Murphy's Law."

  6. It isn't just you. Sometimes when it rains it pours. When I think of your list, toddlers tantruming, baby screaming for unknown reasons, tripping on stairs, oven not working, etc. any of those things could happen on any given day. Parents of one toddler complain about the vast amounts of tantrums, parents of one baby wonder what on earth to do to soothe the one baby. You just have a greater likelihood than most that more than one of those things will happen at a time. The fact that you have four young children and not a lot of help makes you more vulnerable to exhaustion and being overwhelmed by each thing that does happen. It won't always be like this. This is just a short time in their lives where it is really difficult. I have had days where both my girls are fighting over every little thing, breaking things, the baby will only not cry if I hold him, everyone even the dog is demanding food at the same time, the dog gets diarrhea and needs to be let out 100 times while my girls have separation anxiety and won't let me walk more than 5 feet away from them, the power goes out meaning I can't cook anything in the microwave and the TV doesn't work, and then I finally go to get in bed after getting everyone else to bed and find the dog has puked on my pillow. It's all because there are 4 people/animals depending on me and I am all alone a lot of the time and that's what can happen on any given day. But I have also had days where the baby sleeps, the girls share with each other and play together all day, the dog lets the girls poke and prod him with no reaction, the sun is out and my sitter offers to come by for free so I can grab a drink with friends. My advice, write down 10 good things that happen each day. Even if you have to reach for them as you are writing them... Sometimes my list is- I got to pee with the door closed... We had enough milk afterall... I needed to have a good cry and I did and I feel better, etc. Focus on the good stuff too and then the bad stuff won't seem like it's piling up so much. Hokey I know, but it works for me. Hang in there!