Friday, October 2, 2009

I'm back and I'm good

sorry sorry sorry! I hope none of you thought anything was wrong. It was terrible to leave you hanging with the ultrasound post (the kid is fine btw) and then drop off the face of the planet. But the next day was no nanny, two cats to the vet during nap time, then an afternoon of sick babies. Then Wednesday, I had to do 87 loads of laundry, pack, write up instructions, and go to the dentist to get a hole drilled into my head as well as 2 hours of gum torture.

Busy much? And then I hopped on a red-eye to come to Maryland. Sick, exhausted (sick kids equals no sleep and mommy gets sick too) and feeling a little abused, I nevertheless honored my commitment to come to Maryland for the annual fundraiser of an animal rescue group I go way back with. Poplar Spring Animal Sanctuary is the happiest place on earth for animals. Farm animals that is. If it fell off the back of a truck on the way to the slaughterhouse, got abused by an owner, neglected by a collector, abandoned in a truck in downtown DC, or was just walking down the road and found by a good samaritan, it ends up here and lives out its life in comfort, companionship and with good medical care until it dies of old age.

My job is to run the Silent Auction. Around 300 items get donated each year. I get to sort through that collection, write it up, set it up and harass people into bidding for each and every item at or above their intended limits of spending. I am good at that last part. Is anyone surprised I can harass? I thought not. I love this job because the director of the sanctuary sits all weekend and tells me how wonderful I am and because I know I do a good job. You know how infrequently a mom hears she's wonderful or feels like she's doing a good job? I think you do. Not often.

So this is supposed to be a delightful break for me and some relaxation comes with the deal. But then I had to get sick the day before I came? How unfair was that? So instead of catching up on sleep like I dreamed about, I am sleeping to heal. Would be nice if I could breathe at night, but not so much these days. And being limited by what a pregnant lady is supposed to use while sick basically sucks. Ah well. I'm eating well, have read one book so far and am enjoying the scenery. Wish I had the energy to visit old friends, but not this year.

The hardest part was memories of my dad that hit me like a cement truck when I arrived. For those who don't know, my dad died last November of pancreatic cancer rather suddenly as he was predicted to last 3 or 4 more months but he gave up. He just gave up and quit all treatment and died within days. So fast that I couldn't get there in time. But dad loved the area in Maryland and Virginia. And as I crossed at Whites Ferry (an actual ferry for cars across the Potomac) I was just so sad that he chose to give that up early. True, he wouldn't be here now, but it takes a while to forgive someone for dying on you, no matter the way or reason for the death. And how I wish he could meet this new kid or even just watch me mother my kids. He's missing my greatest accomplishment. That sucks.

So, on with the show. I should have some amusing anecdotes from this weekend as animal people are all pretty strange (myself included but I'm not the weirdest) and they usually lend themselves to parody quite naturally. I'll let you know if a cow decides to follow me home too. Thanks for hanging in there during my absence.


  1. I hope you're able to enjoy your break, even with the cold and sad memories. I never thought about the process of forgiveness that follows death, thank you for sharing something so personal.

    The weather around here is so nice right now, so hopefully that will help aid in your healing process. And maybe help you breathe. Who knows?

  2. Hope you can relax and enjoy a little R & R while away. I always find that it's hard to rest while I am away because I miss the kids way more than I anticipated. I am glad you got a chance to get away. Hope you feel better soon!
    BTW, I am sure your dad is very proud of your amazing accomplishment of being a wonderful mom! :)

  3. so glad you updated; I was getting a bit worried; wondering if anything was wrong on your ultrasound

    sorry you are sick though. It is sooo neat that you are honoring a commitment, despite everything going on in your life. I'm sure they appreciate it and it sounds like such a worthy service to provide for those animals.

    I'm sorry about your dad :( But like Rebecca said, I'm sure he was very proud of you and your life and children. I can't imagine how difficult it would be for anyone involved with the cancer diagnosis, the patient, the family, etc. It has to be so overwhelming.

    in the meantime, I hope you get some rest to feel "perky" when you return and that you get a chance to order room service and spoil yourself a bit


  4. Sooooo, you're in Maryland and you didn't call me to hook up? Seriously, what kinda blog land friend are you?! If you tell me you were at In the Streets in Frederick Saturday I'm gonna shoot my foot off.