Something

Today I get to do one of the fun things in pregnancy: see my baby! Today is the anatomy ultrasound, which for the unlearned means we look at and measure every stinking part of the kid to make sure there's no humps in the back or tails growing out in strange places. But knowing I most likely have a perfectly normal kid doesn't eliminate the sleeplessness and strange dreams of the night before because there is always a possibility that something could come out wrong. There is no guarantee that the pictures they took 10 weeks ago and the genetic testing rules out an extra leg you know? And it wouldn't be the end of the world but I think everyone goes into their pregnancy expecting perfection and I have long ago come up with a general rule of pregnancy that is pretty much 100% true: at some point in every pregnancy the Dr. will tell you 'something could be wrong.'

Every stinking pregnancy people. I know not one mom who didn't have this stupid moment in their pregnancy when the Dr. sees something on the ultrasound that may or may not be an issue, may or may not mean you have to come back for extra testing/pictures/visits to confirm or deny that there may or may not be an extra freckle on the nose of your kid.

What's frustrating is that it seems that 99% of the time these turn out to be 'nothing.' Just a funny picture. An anomaly on the screen that's gone the next time or, in my last pregnancy, seems to be fine but we'll really have to see once the kid's born. B had a funny space in his intestines. This could mean he was leaking from the intestine into his body cavity. Leaking body waste is never good, but when you're a fetus? Could mean in utero surgery. And when they tell you something 'might be wrong' you go straight into hell. Why me, why this innocent kid, what did I do wrong, was it that one glass of champagne, am I in for a lifetime caregiver stint, is he going to die, and possibly even what can I promise God to make this go away?

Pregnancy should be perfect. Babies should all be perfect. No one should ever have to suffer, right?

But everyone I know ended up with a perfectly healthy kid despite the 'might be something wrongs' on their ultrasounds. So, in this era of Drs covering their butts by having to tell you everything that is even slightly abnormal on the pictures we live through much more stressful pregnancies. I'm not sure full disclosure is necessary. But we've forced it on them and ourselves I guess. Thanks litigators. I mean, I really don't need to know until something is confirmed that there is definitely something wrong. Then I can prepare. Because pregnancy makes it hard enough to sleep already without the new worries that are 99% unnecessary because they are 99% of the time 'NOTHING' instead of 'something.'