Monday, September 7, 2009

Things I've learned while pregnant

1. Not all desserts without chocolate are without merit. While pregnant, chocolate becomes unattractive to me so I try desserts I never would have otherwise. They are good!

2. Large is relative. Thought I was large before? Huh uh girl.

3. Tequila should be drunk whenever possible. You don't know what you've been missing until it's gone.

4. 9 months is really 40 weeks. That's 10 months people. How fair is that?

5. Small portions can satisfy. Although you'll have to eat again in an hour and a half, but you know....

6.  I'm not usually that short tempered. Compared to now that is.

7. Fresh fruit is damned good! Why can't I remember this when I'm not trying to eat well? Why can't the pre-cut stuff in the store taste as good as good as the stuff I have to peel and dice?

8. Things that look and smell bad? May actually taste great. Don't trust your nose.

9. Massages are necessary for existence.

10. Anyone can make you cry. Anyone.

11. It's bad to be a needy cat in a house with triplets and a pregnant mom. You're screwed.

12. No mattress solves every problem. Don't spend the money.

13. Men find any distortion of your body attractive. You're a girl. With boobs. Get over it.

14. You think your boobs hurt when you're on your period? Try pregnancy. Exponential growth is not your friend.

15. Big boobs will get you stared at on the street, regardless of the size of your abdomen. I mean really?

16. I apparently get obsessed by boobs myself.

17. Thoughts about what you would do if your husband died 4 days before you gave birth are bad for getting to sleep. Would I get Cobra coverage? Who would I scream at in labor? Why am I even thinking about this?

18. Sleep is the nectar of the gods. Don't take it for granted!


  1. I can really not even read past number one. Chocolate is unattractive?! Next thing I know you'll be trying to tell me that Robert Pattinson's not hot! Crazy talk, woman. Crazy. Talk!

  2. this was "cute" to read, but I'm sure not "cute" to endure; going without chocolate would not be pleasant in my experience

    I know, I could never figure out the math between 9 months and 40 weeks; some man must have done that one

    hope you all had a nice day


  3. I can totally agree with a few of these while I was preg. but so not the chocolate one! I also loved fruit when I was pg and yes it is always better when you put labor into it! Hope you had a great weekend!

  4. LOLOL! What a great read! I too was not fond of chocolate when I was prego, so I was sad alot beacuse I love it so much. Tootsie rolls were okay at the time. MY Chichi is three now and I just now started loving good 'ol chocolate again.

  5. Lets discuss the massages. They are a crucial part of life for everyone, preggers or not...and I think they are highly underrated. Basically, my goal in life is to find a job that puts me in a position where I can afford regular manis/pedis and massages. Oh...and help the world or something too. And naps too. There would be less violence in the world if naps were more common.