Blog-itis

Wow, I lost a lot of readers by taking a vacation only months into blogging my life away. Makes me feel like no one's reading anymore. And I have to say, my latest post have not been brilliant. I feel sometimes like pregnancy has dulled my brain. I used to be funny. But perhaps I'm forcing it somehow. Trying to write something funny every day (with the usual allowance for a poignant post now and then) is hard. And when you first visit your favorite bloggers for inspiration only to find them inspired beyond your abilities? ugh.

I am slowly figuring out I'm not going to be a writer. I'm not going to be Dooce (Heather Armstrong) and make posts so freaking hilarious that people laugh out loud on the metro reading them. And then get a book contract off of my blog and start making thousands of dollars a month from the blog itself. I just don't think I'm worthy. I can't blog 3 hours a day, let's face it. Even if I could find 3 hours, my brain is barely functional and I need to nap. Not that days like Thursday, when not one, but two of my children conspired to make my nap impossible because they refused to confine themselves to the parameters of their nap, are common, but in reality, napping the minute the babies nap? Is seemingly unrealistic.

Apparently my nap schedule is somewhat inconveniently timed. The babies go down at 1, I get tired at 3. Plus I have to eat lunch twice between 12 and 4 because the alien apparently gets hungry then. So blogging all afternoon is not going to happen. So I blog first thing in the morning, seemingly common to most bloggers as I see their posts time stamped 4:18am quite frequently. But I can not get up earlier than I already do. Aliens need mom to be horizontal for a lot of the night, even if they can't actually sleep because there is no comfortable position left or the pregnancy hormones are causing their brain to run on overload. So an afternoon nap would be fantastic. It's what I did with the triplets. I had the craziest dream filled naps when I was able to sleep at 3pm when my body wants to. And I still could go to bed at 9 and begin the process of sleeping for an hour, trying to find another comfortable position, sleeping for an hour, peeing, sleeping for an hour and so on.

Oh for the days when I could just be pregnant and not already be the mom of triplets. Seems like heaven now even though you know I complained straight through that period. You'd think having been able to watch every tv show I'd never watched as a kid would have compensated for the discomfort, wouldn't you? Now I'm lucky if I get to catch up on my dvr'd Project Runway shows. And did anyone see the maternity competition last week? Hilarious that one dude thought a woman might find it appealing to dress like a chicken with an egg hanging from a sling on the front of them. Dudes are really dense sometimes.

But I digress. Perhaps I need to put less pressure on myself to create every day. But I worry that I'll lose even more readers if I go to every other or three day posts even if they are more creative and wittier. And I also think I'll probably get lazy. If I don't 'have' to post every day, why would I post every other day? And what if I'm not any funnier? Ack. I think I've just hit discouraged. There are so many funny blogs out there who have found a great niche or just are plain hilarious about inane stuff that any hope of becoming 'somebody' on the blog circuit is hard to maintain. And this whiny blog entry isn't going to help....