Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Fantasy Island

On to more fantasies straight from the crazy pregnant lady's brain.

As I'm sitting here eating a bag of cookies while watching the Biggest Loser (because there is no other way to watch this show other than with a bag of some fat or sugar laden objects) I begin to entertain my post pregnancy body fantasies again. When I was pregnant with the triplets it was the same way. I couldn't wait to work out again. I was going to kick ass and take names at the gym. Take long walks with the triple stroller until all the fat disappeared and then I was going to get the 6 pack.

Yes, she thinks she might be able to get a 6 pack at almost 40 with a body that is apple shaped, meaning the only place I will NEVER lose all the weight is on my stomach.

Oh well. Then the reality of triplets. Sure I took a lot of walks at first. I found that the solution to any time they refused to sleep was to pack them all in the stroller and walk. That way I wasn't actively trying to make them sleep, didn't even have to look at them while they cried, and, even though I was also not sleeping, we all got a break from each other. So I lost all the pregnancy weight. It was nice.

But then I went insane. I had to hire help because otherwise? I'd be dead. Electric chair or self induced, whichever. So I outsourced the walking. She walked them every day, not me. I sat on my arse and tried to regain my sanity. For some reason this involved cookies.

By the time I got pregnant again I was back in boot camp. I was trying. I went to work out boot camp 3 or 4 mornings a week. I was going to get back in shape, but why was I so so so exhausted that I could barely drag myself there only to end up coming home and shoving more food in my face? Oh, that's right. I was pregnant and had no stinking idea. So much for that.

So here we are again, in the end stages of a pregnancy thinking "I can't wait to get back to boot camp." Riiiight. I might do it. There's only one infant this time. My sanity may take a lesser blow, but because I'm having to spend all of our money on help right now since I can't lift my kids I will very quickly have to give up many nanny hours to conserve what money we have left to buy a new house and move. That will leave me a lot less time to work out. Now, I will be running after triplets while carrying an infant, no doubt larger than the average as we seem to produce, strapped to my chest, but that does not make 6 pack abs. And time shortage pretty much guarantees bad eating habits. At least with me.

So why do I dream of the 6 pack still? Why not just dream of getting down to my average weight, which I haven't been in 3 years? Oh the fantasies. Will they never end? Just give me a few weeks at the Biggest Loser ranch people. Just a few. And fewer fried chicken ads on tv. That would help too. And a mother in law who didn't like baking cupcakes and cookies quite so much. yeah. And, maybe, just maybe, a different set of genes.


  1. Joined the gym three months ago. Been there 5 times since. Instead spend my free time reading and sipping lattes at Starbucks. Yes, I pay a babysitter so I can go drink coffee and read. And then I wonder why I can't drop the last 10 lbs.

  2. I'm feeling you on this one, dog (sorry getting all Randy Jackson on ya 'cause I'm watching American Idol!)! I am still dreaming of the day that my shirts aren't tight across the tummy. Yeah. The TUMMY! Whose shirts are tight across the bloody, effing TUMMY?!

  3. that would be hard if your MIL baked a lot and shared it with you

    but give yourself time; they won't always be this young (and needy) and you will eventually get back to that pre-babies weight


  4. I'm almost 50 and I still dream of those six-pack abs.

    Never too late.

  5. I am sitting here reading your blog, eating the largest cupcake known to man....seriously...

    Im positive you will get where you want to be. It will not be easy...but you can do it! :)

    I would like to find the motivation to get in shape!