Undulations

Being pregnant with one baby is so weird! I can feel everything this kid does inside me. I spend hours watching my belly move in crazy alien ways. Well not hours, because I happen to have triplets, but minutes at a time.

You might think that having had three inside me at once I would be over this baby movement thing. You'd be wrong. I think they were kicking each other last time. I felt hardly anything last time (or I've blocked it out) except when they'd lodge a foot in my bladder or somewhere painful. It was not like this. My skin undulated just a little bit now and then. Right now my abdominal skin is like a waterbed with a toddler on it.

And what's with the sensation that they can reach into my right hip and poke my thighbone? That's just nuts.

The kicking of the floating ribs is getting old though.

I was asked today if I was feeling the excitement of this pregnancy. Naturally, I had been talking about last week's crisis of limbo when this came up and anyone who knows me knows I'm not a happy pregnant girl. It's just an uncomfortable set of physical experiences so far. So, excitement? Hard to come by. Mostly I have a lot of anxiety. Having been through a pregnancy that was all about excitement and being special and different, this normalcy is odd. I'm just another pregnant woman and people assume I've done it all before. Meanwhile I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. The bad news, the body giving out, the kid shoving his way out early one way or the other, or something.

And then there's the post birth anxiety. Will I survive the exhaustion? Will it be worse or better than pregnancy plus triplets exhaustion? Will I recover fast and get my butt out of the house on long walks to be all exercised and full of energy? Or will I be me. Sitting on the couch sleeping the minute the infant does? Kinda more likely.

I am excited about the possible positive birthing experience I'm dreaming about. I've read so many accounts from books and blogs at this point that I know it can happen. I am excited to meet this new personality, see who he looks like, take the time to snuggle an infant and see what the fuss is all about (wasn't really time for that with 3), and in general I guess I'm excited, but it's hard to get past the rest.

Meanwhile I'll just sit here and watch my stomach roll around. I keep waiting to see a discernible foot or something like I've seen in photos, but I think I've got a wee too much fat layer for that to happen. But the flip turns are awesome. Just stay head down kid. Just stay head down. And pick your exit in a timely manner. Preferably mid-day on a weekday. Ok?