Friday, June 26, 2009

Old faithful

You know, in a past life I was a wildlife rehabilitator. That means I medicated, stitched up, nursed, cleaned up after and got bitten by all types of native Maryland wildlife on a daily basis. I handled poop, blood, even maggots and sometimes watched necropsies while eating my lunch sandwich near the surgery table. I can't tell you where my strong constitution came from but I was relatively certain that there was little that could gross me out. I mean if you can pick maggots out of a deer hiney, you can do anything gross. Right?

Well, enter triplets A, B and C and their endless stream of colds. Oh, it's not their poop, diarrhea notwithstanding, that troubles me. It's not their barf, specifically barfmeister flex B who's repertoire includes a distinctly geyser like action usually just after being laid on his clean bedsheets and tends to then end up spread across my chest and arms as I have to gather him up and carry him to an appropriate changing area. It's not their gooey, partially masticated animal cookies that have turned into grey paste in their mouths just before they decide to give me a big kiss on the cheek. No, it's none of these things. It's snot.

It's stringy, sticky, crusty, gooey, neverending boogers that you try with kleenex after kleenex to remove in gobs from their tiny, yet prolific, nostrils that turn into miles long streamers of uncontainable ickiness. You think you've got the big one and you pull away only to find that it either bounces back, evading your grasp, or it stretches down into their toes and 8 more kleenex type objects are required to contain and remove said booger. Truly impressive. And I am thinking about this why? Because not more than a week and a half after then last booger invasion, we have the beginning signs of a new one. C is running at the nose like some sort of booger waterfall and I know it's just the beginning. It's never just one, and it's never just a little cold. Never.
Sure C looks innocent, but he's just busy mass producing boogers

Off to purchase more Boogiewipes!

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