Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Blank Stare

The Blank Stare

My son B has perfected it.

And it drives me absolutely batty.

Let's see why! Imagine your 2 + year old kid wailing in bed at 8:15, a full hour and a half after lights out. You rush in to see what is the matter, and he immediately shuts up. Then you ask him what's wrong, what do you need, why are you crying, any number of permutations of 'tell me why you need me' and what does this child do?

He just goes mute. Oh, and he's apparently unable to move in order to point or nod either. He stares at me with his wide blue eyes and no expression on his face.

It's maddening. Because then? I leave the room and the INSTANT the door closes? Waaaaiiiiillll.

So I go in a second time. Mute. Third time? Mute. And depending on my sanity and amount of sleep that day the muteness enrages me to differing levels. Sometimes the muteness seems like insolence. Sometimes it seems like the paralysis of a boy who is too scared to speak. Why the latter would be true until the 4th time I go in raging like some kind of crazy bear I don't know. I'm not scary the first 3 times. I don't even have bed head yet. I likely have a little wine on board. I'm lovely for goodness' sake. So I don't think it's fear. But I'm not sure it's insolence either.

Some argue he's trying to get a rise out of me. Well it works. My choice is to sit eating my dinner listening to him wail or go in and guess what the heck is wrong with him. Is it your diaper, your bear, your boogers, what? I know this boy can speak when he wants to. But he's as good at withholding speech as I am at withholding sex.

Which is to say, damn good.

Too damned good.

If this kid isn't smothered by the time he's 3 it'll be a miracle. That silent look takes on all sorts of evil permutations when I'm already tired and frustrated. He is either an evil genius or he has a mental problem. I'd hate to punish him if there's truly something that prevents him from communicating. But I'm pretty sure he's just a pain in my butt. So I guess you're all thinking to yourselves that not going in is the answer. But that boy can wail a good long time. And half the house is trying to sleep. And that just sucks. As does a glass of wine while listening to whining. Not totally sucky but mostly.

I'm pretty sure this boy was put on the planet to finish my sanity off. Does every mother have one of these children?


  1. LOL with your last paragraph......no words of wisdom for you because I'm sure you have tried everything to get him to stop this behavior. one can only hope maybe he will grow out of it eventually? in the meantime, maybe a pair of ear plugs for you!


  2. The Evil Eye!

    Mine inherited it from my MIL.