Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Mister Mom You Ain't

Dear stay at home dads in my building,

Staying at home with your children is a job. Just like mine. It requires constant care of your children until relieved by partner or family members of other varieties. Yes, it means you need to be in the vicinity of your child at all times, not upstairs in your apartment while your 4 year old is unsupervised in the courtyard below. Accessible by any and all people with cars happening to drive by.

You do not live in a village.

By that I mean I am not willing to watch your child for you without being asked and pretty much without you paying me to do so. If you hadn't noticed? I have 4 of my own children to watch. This is not communal childcare. I am not a mom to your child. A 4 year old boy needs watching. I don't care if you've put a helmet on him while he scooters around. That's not what is unsafe about this situation. What is unsafe?

Um, molesters and predators?

Moving vehicles in the parking lot?

Your child deliberately slamming his bicycle into a toddler birthed by a kick ass take no prisoners mommy like me?

Um yeah. Get your kid under control. Is it possible that he misbehaves because of your neglect? Because when he beats up my kids and tries to teach them how to jump off 6 foot tall jungle gyms? I consider marching him up to your apartment in stocks. And punishing YOU.

And other dad of the not as badly behaved kid? When you tell him you'll be gone just a little while while he bikes around the circle? That doesn't mean 30 minutes. How long do you think a 4 year old is content to bicycle around in a circle like you told him to? Right. How tempting is the ramp to the parking lot?


So, let's review. When I call myself a stay at home mom, I consider it a full time occupation. I consider myself to be primarily responsible for my child. I do not make strangers watch or care for my kid. That's called babysitting and it's a paid position.

Get yourself together and do your job.

Your neighbor


  1. Oh Mira, that sucks for you. You would be totally justified in kicking those male chauvinist asses....

  2. Send them a bill for the childcare. Maybe they'll get the hint?

  3. That drives me NUTS. And then I feel torn because it's not the child's fault, they're usually sad and neglected. But at the same time, I can barely keep up with the two that I have. (I can't imagine trying to deal with this type of stuff when you have FOUR children. You rock, Mira!)

  4. those men are despicable if they think they are watching their kids and acting like this and they are despicable if they think you should be keeping an eye out for their kids without asking you and without compensating you. I'd be tempted to talk to the moms if you knew them, but not sure what that would do. It is a tremendous responsibility in my opinion to keep an eye on other kids especially if their parent is no where to be found and being the kind woman you are, naturally you aren't going to let one of them run out into a unsafe area, etc. Not fair at all!!