But I just look fat. Because a baby bump under 3 inches of fat layer? Just jiggles like fat. And looks like a beer belly. I can look generally guessably pregnant if I wear a maternity top. The empire waist ones specifically, because the drape gives it a better shape. I also have to be careful not to wear anything with a tight waistband because then I get the delightful double roll look. But if I wear maternity pants with the stretchy band waist, I can create a smoother rounder look that impersonates a pregnant belly. But it ain't great.
And I'm at the stage where everyone knows better than to ask because it isn't grindingly clear that I'm pregnant. That only reaffirms my belief that some people think I might just be fat in a really strange pot bellied way. Good lord, if I'm ever fat and only in my belly region? Just shoot me. At least I should get some pleasure of beer drinking if I'm going to have a beer belly. Not that I like beer.
I'd also like to ask the gods how we could not have invented a pair of maternity pants, in this highly advanced society with all sorts of manmade stretchy materials that suck and tuck and tighten and tone and so on, that actually STAYS UP??? I mean I am walking down the street looking like some damned hoodlum idiot teenager because I'm all step, step, step, HIKE, step step step, HIKE with these damned pants. It is not attractive for a woman to be yanking her pants back up every 3 steps. And so my style-o-meter score has dropped yet again. And we didn't have far to fall. And at home? I'll be damned if I'm going to wear pants that fall off with every move I make. So I have resorted to constantly wearing 'leisure' pants again. Just like when I had newborns.
Makes me look hot for the mailman for sure.
That and the food stains and snot slime marks on my shirts.
I feel hot. Just sexy as all get out.